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Disorganised religion

8 December, 2006

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: […] In Western Australia, people can commit a crime and be fined, but they will not need to pay the fine, and they will not go to prison! That is the new slogan from the Attorney General! I am sure the Attorney will get the criminals’ vote, because anything that will save them money they will vote for.

Mr R.C. Kucera: People in prison do not get a vote.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not all the criminals are in prison.

Mr R.C. Kucera: No. They are in car parks.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I would not go down that track if I were the member! The member should not start talking about these things, because he might leave himself wide open! God said: come unto me with clean hands. That is what God would be saying to the member for Yokine.

Mr T.G. Stephens: I do not remember that! Where is that in the scriptures?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: In other words, the member for Yokine should not make accusations. Unless he is as white as the driven snow –

Mr T.G. Stephens: What section of the scriptures is that from?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: It is from the “Johnson Bible”. It is saying that we should avoid hypocrisy. The member may not understand the subtlety of the meaning –

Mr T.G. Stephens: I would stick to the authorised version if I were you!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I am happy to explain it to the member. My colleague, who I believe was going to go into a monastery at one time –

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. You have got that wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I heard.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Well, you got it wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I thought the member was going to be a monk or something.

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. It was something much more profound than that.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be?

Mr T.G. Stephens: What was I going to be?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Yes – when the member grows up! What was the member going to be when he grew up?

Mr T.G. Stephens: Sorry. I am missing the question.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be? The member was going to be something in a religious order.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Was I? You are telling the story. You have got it all wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I was told.

Mr T.G. Stephens: You have got it all wrong so far. However, this is off the point. You have digressed by your misquoting of the sacred scriptures –

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: No. I am just quoting from the “Johnson Bible”, which says that God said: come unto me with clean hands. The meaning of that is that if we want to lay a complaint against someone, we should make sure we have clean hands ourselves – we might have some tomato ketchup on our hands, or something!

Mr T.G. Stephens: The thing I have learnt about you is that when you have nothing to say, you become desperate for interjections!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not at all. I am just having a bit of fun. I have just said that I have virtually completed my remarks. If the member for Yokine had not interjected on me, I probably would have finished by now. The member for Central Kimberly-Pilbara then interjected on me, and I could not resist –

Mr C.J. Barnett: It is nearly Christmas! You can make your Christmas speech now!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: My Christmas speech will come later!

Subject: Fines Legislation Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly – Second Reading]

Date: 28 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8857c – 8875a [online (pdf)]

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