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Greenough already

18 May, 2007
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Budget time. It was somewhat inevitable…

MR G. WOODHAMS (Greenough) [10.41 pm]: I always feel privileged to present my budget reply at this time of evening. There is a very intimate gathering in the chamber; it is almost like a coffee club.

Mr T.R. Sprigg: We stayed around especially for you.

Mr G. WOODHAMS: I thank the member for Murdoch very much. However, Madam Deputy Speaker, you would appreciate that there is no coffee in the chamber, so it is really just a cool-water club.

Madam Deputy Speaker, it is my privilege tonight to share with you and other members of the house a piece which I recently discovered. It is called Budgeterata. It was discovered in an old church at Canna, north of Morawa, in 1952, by a local farmer. He was there tending an old gravesite, and when he went into the church to pray for the future – it was a very dry year – he found the following words written in the back of the Bible. When I read Budgeterata, I know that it will be something that will guide the WA Parliament in the twenty-first century. I will share it with the house, and I believe that this is the first time that Budgeterata has ever been presented in public.

BUDGETERATA

Go to Perth amid the noise and haste and remember how much money the government has spent on the metropolitan area.

Where the Treasurer without surrender smiles with benign indifference to the plight of the suffering rural communities.

And speak your truth when you go there because the government is loud and arrogant, and don’t be offended by their dull and ignorant displays because that is the way of the Labor Party.

Avoid their front bench, they are aggressive and without humour, truly vexations to the spirit.

And be not surprised that they continually criticise the achievements of others because they are vain and bitter people, exiling their sins of omission to benches at the back of the house.

But do remember when you go to Perth that as a rural member you must remain humble.

Exercise caution in that place because there are those from Fremantle who are full of trickery. Especially he that will jimmymander the electorate to bring credit to socialist ideals.

However be yourself, do not engage in debate with the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure, she is of a narrow gauge and will only pay half fare.

Be circumspect too when water is offered in glasses in the chamber, as the minister has a cunning plan to tap the aquifers of the wheatbelt. In the face of drought and aridity, he will dam the country . . . he is a child of the Labor Party.

And take kindly the counsel of the years, listen to the ghosts of WA Inc.

Seek out the member for Avon, for he among them has wisdom and will help you nurture the strength of spirit to shield you from one vote one value.

But do not distress yourself with green imaginings, climate control is born of the fears of fatigue and loneliness of the left wing compromise with tree huggers.

Remember they are the children of the Labor Party, no less than the right, left, centre factions . . . the unions have given them the right to be there. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt pre-selection is more important than government will ever be.

Therefore be at peace with the man named Alan, he is whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your aspirations and noisy confusion of politics keep a mobile phone in your pocket. Brian can always call you.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken promises it is still the Treasurer’s budget.

That is the Budgeterata. I think it is a historic document.

Subject: Appropriation (Consolidated Fund) Bill (no. 1) 2007 / Appropriation (Consolidated Fund) Bill (no. 2) 2007 [Legislative Assembly – Standing Orders Suspension — Motion]

Date: 16 May 2007

Hansard reference: pp. 2274b – 2310a [online (pdf)]

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