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the spoils

15 November, 2012

Last year’s report: ‘outrageous’

HON MAX TRENORDEN (Agricultural) [9.45 pm]: It has been a disastrous week for the state, as you are well aware, Mr President. The Warriors lost again and the basketball team lost again. But your golf team, Mr President, performed outstandingly, and I have the booty here to prove it. Here is the booty that Hon Brian Ellis won for being in the parliamentary team that defeated the staff team. The fact that the staff team had only three-quarters of a team is neither here nor there! The point is that your parliamentary team beat the outstanding staff team. This is the outstanding award that Hon Brian Ellis got. I am holding this magnificent trophy because Hon Brian Ellis decided that he would leave the drinking of red wine to the Minister for Health and me and left the premises a little earlier than we did. This is a picnic basket with knives and forks and a cheese board and a shirt. Mr President, you can see that this is an outstanding award for the effort of Hon Brian Ellis, but that is not all. I also have a crystal decanter—nothing less than Royal Doulton—won by the brilliance of Hon Brian Ellis in the competition. This is an outstanding trophy. I think it is of such quality, Mr President, that you should direct Hon Brian Ellis to put it on his financial register! It is of considerable merit. I might add that Hon Kim Hames, the Minister for Health, dropped his and broke it, but I have not dropped and broken Hon Brian Ellis’s prize as yet. I also have to say that the odds today of the Duchess of Cornwall dropping the Melbourne Cup as she handed it over were 11 to one, but I note that she did not do that. So I will try not to drop Hon Brian Ellis’s decanter. But that is not all, Mr President! Here is an envelope from a donor containing as good as cash to the tune of $100 for Hon Brian Ellis.

I just want to make the point, Mr President, that it was an outstanding contribution by Hon Brian Ellis to your parliamentary team. All this booty has arrived because the parliamentary team came second in the competition of some 120-odd players. I was a part of the team that came second. We came second because Hon Brian Ellis and I were a team. We were playing behind the team that won the day, but there were two professional golfers in that group of four. I have to report to you, Mr President, that there was not much that was professional in the way we played, but one of the four of us was lucky enough to produce enough for each shot at each hole for us to cross the line! It was an excellent day. I do make light of it, but I appreciate the fact that the Parliamentary Sports Club exists. I appreciate the fact that it gives people such as me and Hon Brian Ellis and the members of the bowls club, the tennis club and the other clubs the opportunity to do these things. On that day $68 000 net was raised for charity, which for a golf day is pretty impressive to say the least. There were a lot of names who were donating substantial amounts of money on the day, and it was a very good day.

Mr President, my ambition tonight was to let you know that we ran second and we were outstanding in our endeavours for the Parliament, but mostly, of course, to embarrass Hon Brian Ellis.

The PRESIDENT: Can I add my congratulations to the team. The parliamentary team has done very well in recent years. The main thing is to beat the staff!

Subject: Parliamentary Golf Tournament [Legislative Council – Statement]

Date: 6 November 2012

Hansard reference: pp. 7813-7814 [online (pdf)]


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